Find Me
by Mugen no Koi
Summary: Ymir was born an Intersex. Being born with both male and female parts, she didn't have a clear gender. But the doctor had pressured her parents, of which she doesn't know their faces as they've left her at an orphanage when she was still a toddler, and her parents had irresponsibly decided her a Male. She still faces emotional distress in her current years. [Yumikuri, College AU]


**A/N: Sooooooooooooo! Being interested in all sorts of romance, I've decided to write one about IS. I would say that I have little knowledge about them though I did do some research. And in fact, I do watch dramas about IS, read the manga IS and documentaries about it.**

 **This story is completely written with the pure intention to show the distress Ymir had gone through and about her love life when she finally met someone she found herself attracted to. It is more on the emotional part than anything. I** **accept** **all comments that would educate me more about IS. I, however, didn't put much details about it since I am not sure if i'm right or wrong about certain things and I don't want to offend anyone!**

 _ **Don't get too much hopes up about the topic though. Enjoy the story!**_

 _ **Definitely the longest one-shot I've written so far.**_

 ** _Edit: Fixed whatever errors I made._**

 _-x-x-x-x-_

 _Playlist:_ _Blue - Nana Mizuki_

 _Long One-shot - Ymir x Krista_

 _ **Find Me**_

Dressed in a navy blue dress shirt, buttoned up with two of them loose leaving her neck, collar bone exposed, was Ymir. She wore black jeans to match her top. Satisfied with her looks, she smiled to herself, leaving the mirror in which she hated. She hated to see herself in the mirror - She hated her body - yet she found the need to check herself in it every day; to make sure nothing was left uncovered, parts she hadn't want others to be visible of. Especially, Her chest. Yes. She made sure the clothes she had loosely fit her slender figure, hiding its true curves. She was publicly known as a male - her ID and birthday certificate officially written as so - and having visible boobs would make people freak out.

What the brunette had, was a secret of her own which no one knew and she made sure never to slipped and let it out. Afraid of rejection, to be abandoned, like she once was, years ago.

 _Cringing at the mirror image of herself as her eyes glance upon her chest and her hands roaming it but not quite touching it. Slowly, her eyes went down to between her legs and the brunette scoffed. She rolled her eyes once then turned to face away from the mirror._

 _The brunette took deep breaths, in then out. She repeated it for about a minute before straightening herself as she went to pick up her backpack beside her bed. Slipping it her hands through the straps and over her shoulders, she took a glance at the clock. It was 10a.m. 30 more minutes till her lesson started._

Then, her gaze switched to her wallet and phone beside the table clock, she grabbed them and stuffed them in either sides of the pockets of her pants. She went to her doorstep, crouched down to a pair of Black Nike AF-1 Ultra Force Mid sneakers and slipped them on.  
Now she was finally ready to leave for the university.

While she was busy locking the door, someone tapped on her shoulders. Knowing fully the familiar tap, the brunette finished up with the door then turned to the person.

"Sasha."

A grin was on the shorter brunette face. She was strangely in an extra good mood today. She was normally all bubbly and crazily energetic but today was clearly a different level of such.

"Ymir! Good morning! Guess what? Mikasa invited me to lunch today! Great isn't it?!" The grin on her face growing wider each second as she blabber on and on without a care whether the tan brunette was actually listening or not.

The tan brunette shrugged her shoulders, ignoring the brunette as she continued on and on, already taking steps away from her and towards the stairs of their apartments.

Yes. Their. The two shared the building which had 4 vacant apartments - 2 on the top and 2 at the bottom, consisting, in total, of 2 floors. Ymir and Sasha were both on the second floor occupying the top two apartments. While the bottom two remained empty as the previous tenants had left recently.

And as to how the two met... it was a strange meeting alright. During someday in her first year of university, she was eating her bread alone by a bench in the university's compound when someone collapsed nearby. It was Sasha, she looked sickly pale and starved.

 _"Food..." she struggled out. Her hands stretching in front of her, her eyes trained on the bread Ymir was holding. The brunette shot a death glare to Sasha that said "No. It's mine." however Sasha didn't seem intimidated and didn't cower away. She staggered her way towards the brunette, drooling as she eyed the bread consistently. "Food..." then she leaped forward and the brunette instinctively dodged causing Sasha to crash into the bench face smashed against the wooden surface. She didn't give up even though her nose was bleeding, she tried another attack, missing again. After a few minutes of the attack and dodge play, Ymir gave up. She offered her bread to Sasha, already wanting to get out of there from the annoying brat. With sparkling eyes she took the bread in her hands then looked at Ymir._

 _"...What?" It was an intense gaze._

"God!" She shouted. "You must be a god!" right after those words she stuffed the bread into her mouth in whole. Eating like the hungry beast she was. Since then, no matter how the brunette shunned her away, the other brunette always came back sticking to her like a loyal dog. She followed her everywhere till this day.

"Oh! Ymir, heard that a new tenant is moving in tomorrow!" At this the brunette snapped out of her own thoughts, suddenly paying attention to the noisy brunette by her. "It's a blonde and a girl! Her name is Krista. I happened to see the documents left by Hanji on her desk last night!" Hanji was their landlord and a professor at their university. She had offered both of them places because the dormitory at school was full. In fact, there was actually an available room but it was a rule that people had to live in pairs there. Not wanting to be paired with anyone, Ymir gave up on it. As to why Sasha didn't take her place wasn't known to her neither did she want to.

"Is that so?"

She was never one to be interested in others, mostly avoiding any socialising normally. But for some odd reason, this time she was. Maybe she was getting insecure with having more people moving in when two tenants had finally left. In fact, it was stupid to be so when it was obvious the two empty spaces would be once filled again.

Running her hand through her brown hair - tied in a tiny pony tail at the tip-, she sighed. The slight breeze in the air was cool and refreshing. A small smile crept up on Ymir's lips, contented with the feel of the breeze brushing across her little, exposed skin; It was truly refreshing. Spring was arriving.

Soon, they reached the entrance of the university, strolling as slow as they could to delay getting to the classes they hated, but compulsory. Ymir was in the science department studying biology while Sasha was in home economics. Wanting to know more about her body despite how much she despised it, it helped to have knowledge, deeper knowledge about the human body. It might serve to aid her needs one day should it come.

As they arrived inside the building, both took a quick look at the digital clock hanging in the middle of the huge hallway that separated and lead to different paths. 15 minutes till class.

Though the apartment they rented weren't anything grand, one great thing about it was the short distance from there to the university. A short walk every morning without a need of any means of transport also meant exercise. Ain't it just great?

With the short distance, there wasn't a need to rush every morning, squeeze in the crowds and holding in breaths in the odours of others. Little interaction came by, perfect for the brunette whom stayed aloof and asocial.

After the separation with Sasha and heading to her own class, the tan brunette settled herself in the far corner of the room, furthest from the front entrance. Resting her head on her palm of one arm supporting itself up with her elbow of it. Her other arm flat on on the desk with her palm facing down on it. Her eyes roamed around for a while before she closed it and sighed.

 _5 minutes till class._

"Damn it." She clicked her tongue in annoyance as she tapped the table with her index finger.

When the bell rung, someone strolled in calmly with a laptop tucked underneath one arm as she support it with the other walking towards the professor's desk at the front of the classroom. It was the professor - Hanji Zoe -, also her landlord.

Everyone had settled down in their respective seats, quietly awaiting for the signal to start class.

Upon reaching her desk, Hanji raised one arm after placing her laptop down. Everyone stood up -including Ymir - greeted Hanji and once Hanji returned the greeting, all settled back down in their chairs. It was time for class.

-x-x-x-x-

Break time arrived, finally, after 4 long boring hours of class. Sasha had met up with Ymir near their school's cafeteria and they entered it together. They searched for an empty table and quickly settled down.

"You can get lunch first."

Eyes sparkling and ears perking from hearing those words Sasha stood up instantly, nodding furiously and saying 'thank you!' Before she left to get her food.

Minutes later she returned and it was Ymir's turn to do so. She went to the bread store picked up a ham and cheese sandwich, 2 Swiss rolls and a cup of ice Milo then returned to the table. She chewed on her sandwich as she absentmindedly looked around. She wasn't particularly looking at anything until her eyes caught a glimpse of something or rather someone. Her eyes traced its way to the origin of that striking blonde hair, losing track once in a while due to the crowd in the cafeteria. She cursed.

"Ymir?"

Wondering what caught Ymir"s attention though the brunette was normally disinterested in things, Sasha eyes landed on blonde hair. The owner of that radiant blonde hair was girl not so tall, rather short, in a white one piece with a beige cardigan over her shoulders. When the said girl turned, Sasha caught blue eyes that resembled a gem. At a sudden realisation she banged hard at the table, chair clattering onto the ground behind her as she stood up abruptly.

"It's Krista!"

Snapped out of her trance, Ymir snapped her head to face Sasha, her head tilting up as the other was standing.

"Huh?" Ymir arched an eyebrow.

"That girl! She's Krista. Our soon to be fellow tenant! The new tenant!" Sasha exclaimed loudly pointing on the direction of Krista who seemed to be looking for someone as she glanced around the crowd. "Let's go greet her!"

"What? Now?"

"Now!"

"We will meet her sooner or later so why bother?"

"Just because! "

And with that the conversation ended as Sasha rounded the table to Ymir, grabbed her arm and pulled her hard. Ymir grunted at the sudden action, annoyed. Ignoring the grunt, Sasha pulled harder, budging I the brunette from her sear ever so slightly. She was strong alright but Ymir wasn't weak.

Irritated by the persistent, insistent pulls, Ymir had enough so she just let herself get dragged by Sasha towards Krista; leaving their seat and still unfinished meal fully unattended.

 _Well, doesn't matter. The quicker I get over with it, the faster I can get back to my meal._

When they appeared in front of the blonde out of blue, she seemed surprised but immediately got hold of herself, smiling gently at the two.

"Hi! You're Krista right?" Sasha stretched one hand out for a handshake.

"Yea." As she answered Sasha, Krista took the hand held out for a quick shake then let her hand drop back beside herself.

"I'm Sasha and this fellow here is Ymir." Sasha pointed to Ymir with her thumb, her other arm circling the brunette's neck, causing the Ymir slouch slightly due to the small height difference.

"Ouch! Don't do that! I've told you countless times." Taking a hand and smacking Sasha upside her head, she turned to the small blonde with an awkward smile. "Hey…"

"Nice to meet you." The blonde had her gaze locked on with brown eyes of the brunette, smile to her with the same gentle smile she had a little before. This caused Ymir's heart to skip a beat for a reason unknown to her, she felt her face almost flush; maybe it did.

 _Shit. She's cute._

Nervous, the brunette started rubbing the back of her neck. Then she realised the blonde glancing around as if looking for someone again.

"Sorry, did we bother you?" Being strangely polite, she apologised to the small blonde. She had gotten out of Sasha hold around her neck, standing at her full height.

"Krista."

Hearing an unfamiliar low and husky voice, Ymir noticed the presence of a tall blonde. He had a huge build with large shoulders, his rolled up sleeves of the white shirt revealing his bulk muscles. He was about a head taller than Ymir herself who stood at 172 cm tall.

Turning over her shoulders, Krista craned her neck to meet eyes with the tall blonde man.

"Oh! There you are Reiner." She smiled brightly at him.

In response, the tall blonde blushed lightly.

Looking at their short exchange Ymir felt a little disappointed to yet another unknown feeling.

 _Right. Of course she has a man._

 _What got your hopes up?_

Another voice rang in her head.

 _Just look at her, she's cute. Adorable. She wouldn't be free, would she?_

"Krista, they are?" Reiner eyes landed on Sasha then Ymir.

"Oh. She's Sasha and she's Ymir..." she pointed from one brunette to the other. "They are..." Krista was struggling for an answer.

"Soon to be tenant mates. Something like that." Ymir finished for her. Krista shot a smile to Ymir, silently thanking her. The brunette diverted her gaze to the floor a second after, then cleared her throat and looked back to Krista and Reiner . "Well then, excuse us." Ymir jabbed hard in Sasha's stomach causing the brunette to cough from the impact, almost clearing the contents of her stomach. "Sorry for the intrusion." Ymir grabbed Sasha's arm, already exerting force to drag her away. The Sasha rubbed her stomach as she gave puppy eyes to which failed to stop the brunette from dragging her away literally.

They returned to their unattended meal, continuing it. Ymir couldn't help but let her eyes wander off to the small blonde angel until she disappeared with the taller blonde.

 _Something must be wrong with me._

The brunette shook her head lightly as she sucked on her straw to take big gulps of her Milo.

"Ymir," Sasha stared at the brunette drinking like she hadn't drank for days. "You seem oddly interested in the girl." Sasha had obviously noticed the brunette looking blankly at the space the blonde was once standing at minutes ago. Ymir was still in her thoughts not hearing the words and so Sasha smirked as she thought of something.

"Have the hots for her?" Sasha was right beside Ymir, whispering into her ears then blowing a few breaths in her ears. _Revenge for just now._

At the ticklish breath on her ears Ymir jumped, brought back to reality. The brunette turned to glare at the brunette who had pulled back already back in her previous position in her seat.

"You little-" Ymir reached out across the table trying to grab the collar of Sasha but she dodged it so instead she shot glares of daggers at her. "Remember this. Remember." Ymir growled between her gritted teeth.

Sticking her tongue out of her mouth, Sasha stood up, ready to head back to class since she was done with her huge bowl of stew with rice. Turning on her heels she bounced towards the entrance.

Ymir calmed down when the brunette turned a corner, disappearing fully from her sight.

 _I don't need anyone._

She mumbled to herself in answer to the lingering unanswered question the brunette left. She had to reassure herself.

 _I don't._

-x-x-x-x-

"Stop grinning like an idiot."

School was over an hour ago and the two decided to head to a cafe near their apartments to grab dinner before returning.

Sasha held this mischievous grin since they had entered the café. Even when the food arrived she continued and honestly it was getting to Ymir's nerves.

"Why don't you go over and say hi or something?" She said between chewing.

"Don't be stupid. It's obvious they are on a date. I'm not a jerk to ruin it for no apparent reason."

When they arrived at the café, they spotted familiar faces. Krista and Reiner. They were sitting by a table for two, chatting happily as they ate. Ymir couldn't help staring at her. However it the blonde was oblivious to her surroundings and didn't notice Sasha and Ymir.

Noticing her eyes in the direction of the couple and that Ymir was once again lost in a daze, Sasha grinned.

Ymir does have the hots for her after all. This is rare. Nothing had caught her interest this much or long before.

Sasha nudged Ymir out of her thoughts. "Curious huh?" Wiggling her eyebrows she nodded her head in the direction of the blonde couple.

"No. Not really." With a straight face and her usual dead tone, Ymir passed Sasha to find a seat, settling down far in the corner in a four-seater. Her back faced the entrance, this made her also unable to see the small blonde interacting with the other blonde. She irked seeing the taller blonde with the smaller one despite having only knowing him today. It was unpleasant.

She rubbed at her chest a few times absentmindedly then proceeded to read the menu.

-x-x-x-x-

They left a little after the couple to make sure they had no contact, returning to their respective apartment.

After taking her shoes off, throwing her backpack off onto the floor, Ymir fell face flat on the bed. She inhaled deeply once then exhaled.

Finally home again.

She definitely loved being home where she felt free -freer than the outside. She rolled onto her back, reached out to her shirt buttons, unbuttoning it until it revealed a white undershirt. It hid well underneath the navy shirt she wore. She took the shirt off, tossing it onto the floor.

It was spring, a season she could continue in such clothes. However it would soon be tough for her to dress the same way during coming summer and summer itself.

It was a trouble she faced every year with the body she had. She hated her chest. So she hid it. And with her chest hidden perfectly, on the outside she was sure to be recognised as guy, barely passing as one. A guy with slender figure. With her rough features though, it should be fine. She had quite the muscles and strength unusual for a female either. Yea. They wouldn't suspect anything. Everything was according to plan.

No one will find out about her true sexuality.

No one.

-x-x-x-x-

Eyes fluttered open, vision still blur. The brunette had fall asleep sometime as she was drowned in her thoughts. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up from the bed. Turning to the digital atop her side table, she saw the time through one eye.

5.00am.

Her mind cleared minutes later, fully out of the sleepiness. She decided to take a bath since she hadn't took one due to falling asleep.

Ymir took her clothes - a white t shirt one size larger than her actual size, a pair of black shorts and her plain black boxers - then headed into the bathroom. She stripped off her clothes within seconds, turning on the shower and proceeded to standing under warm running water.  
It felt refreshing. It warmed her to her core.

She loved the bath though she hated having to bear the sight of her naked body as she scrubbed it clean.

After 15 minutes she was done. She turned off the shower, quickly wiped her body dry as her back faced the mirror. She slipped on her clothes and went out of the bathroom with the towel around her neck. She sat on her bed as she dried her hair with a content sigh.

Suddenly, she heard a thud echo from the outside. A muffled voice was heard after.

It was only 5.20a.m. And it's a freaking Saturday. _Who would be up and about outside at this hour?_ She thought to herself.

Deciding to check things out, Ymir returned her towel to the towel rack it belonged in her bathroom then took a sweater, slipping in on swiftly. She went to her door unlocked it and went out in her slippers, closing the door softly behind herself. She walked over to the railing and look down. A small dark figure moved about frantically back and forth in a small distance near cartons stacked up neatly by the road.

She focused harder to figure out who it was, her eyes adjusting to the darkness.

"Krista?" She voiced out softly. But it seemed that the quietness of the street allowed the blonde to hear her just fine. She looked up to Ymir eyes wide.

"Ymir!" She waved a hand at her with a smile. "I'm sorry, did I wake you up with the sudden sound?"

"No, I was already awake." The brunette headed down the stairs right after her sentence. Upon descending the last step of the stairs reaching the ground floor, she shot a look at the carton then to the small blonde. "What are you doing?"

"Moving my things."

 _Why ask the obvious. You knew she was coming._ Ymir mentally kicked herself.

"Oh. Need help?" she found herself offering help.

"Sure," the small blonde started. "Sure! I was actually hoping someone would come by. Like you heard... I was having trouble with some..." She paused a little then pointed at the cartons. "Stuff. Some are too heavy for me. A friend of mine helped me bring them here but left urgently for something else...so..."

Ymir scoffed. "Leaving a frail maiden all alone to move her stuff early in the morning? What a friend." Ymir shrugged her shoulders, rolling her sleeves up slightly, preparing herself for the move.

The small blonde chuckled at Ymir's comments. "Thank you." She thanked the brunette for her kindness.

"No problem, princess." Ymir gave a smirk then lifted a carton. "Mind opening the door?"

"Oh. Right." Krista hurried to open the door, allowing the brunette to do her job.

It wasn't long until all the cartons were moved into the specified spot in the house. There wasn't actually much luggage.

Krista took her phone out and checked the time.

 _6.30 a.m._

"Thank you." Krista thanked the brunette once more. "I will treat you to something when you're free. To pay you back for the help."

Ymir slumped to the ground to rest from the physical work so early in the morning. "I will gladly take you on that offer then." A grin evident on her face.

Krista followed Ymir in slumping to the ground despite not having done any work, settling beside her. It was then Ymir froze. From the close contact with the blonde angel. She swallowed hard, holding back the urge to move away and hurt the blonde feelings.

Then, she found her eyes roaming the small blonde's body. She tried to tear away forcefully, failing badly. When she felt eyes on her she averted her gaze to the floor immediately.

"Ymir?"

Krista soft and angelic voice broke the silence. Ymir snapped her head in the small blonde's direction, looking directly at her face.

"Y-yes?" She stuttered. She freaking stuttered. What the hell.

"Erm..." a faint blush stained her face. "Is it alright if we become friends?" Ymir eyes grew wide. "I did like to be friends with you. If you don't mind that is."

"N-no! Not at all. It's fine. Totally fine." She almost rapped the line. Great. She's starting to become a dork. Why can't she remain calm like she always did? Is this girl putting her under a spell?

Krista had held her breath while she awaited the response and when it finished, she exhaled in relief. Her face brightened up and she smiled sweetly.

After that a comfortable silence continued, until Ymir broke it, realising she was probably intruding in the blonde's private time to unpack her belongings. The furniture had arrived so all was left was to placed her things where they fitted. The brunette bid her goodbye to Krista, returning to her room.

It was a happy start of the day.

-x-x-x-x-

By noon, Krista was done unpacking most of her cartons that contained her daily necessities. The few boxes left were of her many books collection. Not having any heart to throw anyway just because she was moving she had packed them all and brought them here. If it wasn't for her friend to bring her things over in a van and Ymir to help her move them in her new apartment, she was sure she did have to reluctantly give up some part of her collection, leaving them outside the building.

"Ymir."

Krista settled on her new bed, bed-sheet changed into her favourite one, a bottle of cold water in her hands. Her thoughts drifted off to the brunette.

She closed her eyes, trying to picture the brunette's face. First was her brown, slightly damp hair. It wasn't too short or long. Next was her brown eyes that she found herself being sucked in every time their eyes met - those brown eyes narrow and cold, with a tint of loneliness in them. Under those eyes were freckles that splattered across her cheeks at both sides, hell they looked sexy on her. Then finally, the thin lips that looked soft, seducing despite looking rough and a little dry, probably from the lack of care. Well, it was to be expected. Ymir was a guy. And most guys didn't care enough to worry about such things.

But Ymir somehow seemed a little different from guys she normally knew. Reiner, he was tall and muscular with his broad build. Bertolt, a close friend with the former, a black haired man who stood taller than his friend at about half a head. He has a thin build but he definitely isn't weak. He had quite the muscles at the right places, although obviously not as much as Reiner. Lastly was Eren. He's a hot headed guy and stood at 170 cm. He was lean but like Bertolt, had muscles at right places that, of course, don't compare to the much taller man. Ymir also had muscles and probably was stronger than Eren yet something about him felt off compared to the others.

She probably was thinking too much into it, she eventually convinced herself.

"Ymir." Krista liked how his name rolled of her tongue. She was getting addicted to repeat it over and over, not getting tired of it.

Finishing up the bottle of cold water, Krista grabbed her phone that she left on the side table, unlocking it she checked her messages then the time.

 _12.30 p.m._

Rubbing at her stomach, Krista stood up from her bed.

"Lunchtime I guess."

Dropping her hand to her side, she walked over to the make shift closet which is some empty cartons flipped over onto it's back, sturdy enough to place her clothes on. She had separated them into the categories that belonged in - tops, bottoms, and underwear etc.-, folded neatly.

She took a blue plain v necked long sleeves and a pair of black shorts with her then headed into the bathroom. After changing into them and tossing her sweaty shirt and dirty pants into a nearby pail, she went to the bathroom mirror to remove the pony tail she had on so that her hair didn't distract her from her packing. She brushed it till she was satisfied, leaving the bathroom to her room. She searched for a small bag to put her wallet and phone in then slung it over her shoulders before she left the house for lunch.

-x-x-x-x-

Ymir was out in the city to accompany Sasha who had a meeting with this person called "Mikasa". Recently, Mikasa was all she had been talking about no matter the topic they - mainly Sasha talking - were on.

"Say, wouldn't it be awkward for me to be here? I'm pretty sure she wouldn't expect anyone but you." Ymir turned to Sasha with her usual bored expression. In opposition to her, the shorter brunette was quivering in excitement. She had been waiting for the chance to have a date with Mikasa. Well though you can't really call it a date with Ymir present can you.

"Aww! There's no way I could stay sane and not nervous since it's our first time out for a meeting!" Sasha exclaimed, turning her head to Ymir for a second then back to the front, darting her eyes around for Mikasa's presence.

"Right. So I'm just here for your comfort." Ymir rolled her eyes, stating the obvious.

It was minutes later that someone was heading in their direction, eyes trained on the shorter brunette from afar although she did take a glance at Ymir for a split moment.

Mikasa walked closer and closer till she stopped in front of Sasha.

"Sasha."

"Mikasa!"

The shorter brunette leaped towards the woman wearing a red scarf around her neck.

"Don't hug me!" Mikasa violently separated herself from Sasha, pushing the latter backwards by her face and chest.

"Sorry." Sasha straightened herself after a moment of being dejected by the rejection

Mikasa turned to nod her head at the freckled brunette. "Who's this anyway? I remembered requesting to meet alone."

"Oh!" Sasha grabbed Ymir by her arm, pulling her close and down a little. "Ymir. He is Ymir. My friend from and since high school." She explained. At this Mikasa arched a brow but remained silent.

"Anyway, let's have lunch! I'm hungry!" Sasha had let go of Ymir to grab Mikasa's hand.

"Right."

Mikasa slipped her hand away from Sasha, turning on her heels, heading off to wherever her destination was. Sasha quickly followed after her till she was beside Mikasa.

Ymir was already feeling like she doesn't belong here, wanting to head home any moment she gets to. She scratched her back of her head before following behind the two at a few feet distance.

-x-x-x-x-

Arriving at their destination, apparently called Titan's family restaurant, the three settled down by a table of four by the windows.

The restaurant wasn't very crowded but you could say its business wasn't bad either. The restaurant stood in the middle of the city in between two other stores that had take-outs. Being a Sunday, the streets was filled with people out for a relaxing and fun weekend. There were families and lovers of all sorts.

Ymir eyes roamed at the street outside the windows, avoiding eye contact of the two opposite her, flirting with one another as they ate.

Great. It's a weekend and here i am being a freaking third wheel instead of relaxing in my room like I had planned.

It was until Ymir spotted a blonde, a familiar blonde that she perked up, straightened in her seat, eyes wide open.

Outside the restaurant at a nearby bench under the trees stood Krista. The small blonde seemed to be conversing with someone. Her neck was craned up and she had a gentle smile on her lips. Slowly, Ymir moved her eyes to see a tall blonde. It was Reiner. He was rubbing his neck, seemingly nervous at the situation.

A date.

Ymir internally noted, suddenly feeling down from the realisation.

 _Nothing usual. She's a girl with a boyfriend. Of course she'd spend her weekend with him._

Her heart clenched tightly when she saw Reiner holding his hand out, offering it to Krista and the small blonde accepted it almost immediately.

Uncomfortable with what she was feeling, Ymir looked away, turning back to the idiot couple. They were done with their meal.

-x-x-x-x-

"Krista," the taller blonde started. "Thank you for allowing me this date with you. Thank you." Standing by the door of her new apartment was Reiner. He had sent her home because it was late and not safe for her to travel home alone.

"No. Not at all. I enjoyed it too." Krista smiled at him as she stood by her door. Reiner blushed as he nodded.

"Well then, good night."

"Good night."

After biding each other farewell, Reiner turned and left.

Krista went to unlock her door, got in and landed face flat on her bed.

 _Reiner. I'm sorry._

She apologised mentally.

The taller blonde had confessed to her a few days before and Krista had given him her answer the previous day. She had rejected him as politely as possible. Reiner however had requested a date from Krista, saying that after this date, he would give up on her and they would return to being friends. So Krista agreed.

Krista had thought of Reiner as a close, reliable guy friend but she had never seen him in the romantic light.

In fact, she had never gone as far as to fall for someone, loving them with all she'd got.

"Ymir..."

She found herself thinking of the brunette she had just met 2 days ago, again.

"Oh great. Why am so obsessed with him anyway!"

Punching her pillow a few times before she buried her face in it.

-x-x-x-x-

And the next few days in school was normal. She hadn't met up with the brunette ever since she helped her with moving in. It was ironic since they lived so near, one floor apart.

But maybe god gave her a chance. It was lunch time, Krista was with Reiner, Eren and Bertolt at a table eating. It was when it was her turn to order food... she saw Ymir glancing around with a slightly annoyed expression. She decided to walked up and ask what's wrong.

"Ymir?"

Krista immediately caught the brunette's attention even as she stood lower than her in front of her.  
The brunette raised a brow, wondering what it was that the blonde needed with her.

"Oh," Krista unconsciously started fidgeting with her fingers behind her back. "I saw you looking a little troubled so I thought I could... you know help or something."

Ymir sighed. "Sasha ran off... to who knows where. Our seat was taken so here i am, dumbly waiting for someone to finish their damn meal. That idiot." She cursed under her breath.

Krista chuckled causing Ymir to frown from her unexpected reaction.

"What?" She asked.

"No... No... Nothing at all!" The small blonde said between her breaths as her chuckled turned into a full blown laughter. "I just... found you pitiful and somewhat adorable being ditched by your friend like that."

"Pardon me?" Ymir eyes widened. Adorable she say. What part of it is adorable? She's ditched by someone who loyally follows her around to go who knows where. Pitiful was the right word but adorable?

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude or anything." Krista stopped her laughter then turned serious. "I mean you looked like a lost puppy who just lost his owner."

"Right." Ymir rolled her eyes. "A lost puppy. Who lost his owner? Yea. How funny." She said in sarcasm, ready to leave this moment. "I don't need friends. I am fine alone. Now will you excuse me?"

Krista was shocked at the sudden change in attitude of the brunette at the last sentence. It sounded like she was truly hurt. She was joking and she never thought any of her words were that bad or insulting in anyway even. Her heart hurt.

"No. Wait." Krista unconsciously grabbed Ymir before she could leave. "I- I don't mean anything bad. Really. Maybe I have said the wrong words but- Ugh, that's really not what I want to say." Krista slapped her cheek lightly with her free hand then straightened up. "Look, I'm sorry if I said anything wrong. You could join us if you don't have a table." Krista pointed at the table she and friends occupied in the corner.

Ymir sighed, slipping her hands out of the small blonde hold. "No. There's no need for that. I will take my bread and head somewhere else to consume it. Alone." She turned over her shoulders, looking eye to eye with the blonde. "Just forget this. I'm not angry. In fact, I'm sorry. I'm just a little sensitive to certain things. I won't do it again. Now, will you excuse me." she snapped her head back front and left.

Krista stood in middle of the cafeteria frowning for a few moments before she headed back to her friends at the table.

"Who's the brunette again?" Reiner asked.

"Ymir." Krista answered half in thoughts. "She's living in the same building I recently moved into."

"Oh."

Then Krista plunged deep into her thoughts, closing her ears off to any voices and noises that tried to intrude.

Ymir. Why did he react so badly? I swear those weren't hurting words that I spouted.

-x-x-x-x-

"Damn it. There was no reason to act like an asshole to her. There wasn't. "Ymir punched the nearest wall, her knuckles hurting immediately after. It was turning red in fact.

 _She's just being nice and I was being an asshole._

For no particular reason. Ymir felt irritated when Krista mentioned that she was lost. She didn't say it directly, but it felt like she was being told that she was abandoned and unwanted.

 _Being paranoid and all. What's up with me? There's no way Sasha would ditch me for real. She's been following me around since high school whether I liked it or not. She wouldn't._

Sensitivity to the max alright. What an asshole she was being.

 _No... I'm just deluding. Sasha is human too. She would eventually find someone she loves or maybe a new friend... and her loyalty for me will end. She will leave me and I will be back alone. For good._

 _No one other than that idiot would be willing to befriend me. No one._

"Y- ymir? "

There was a hesitant voice.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Ymir turned abruptly to meet blue eyes looking up to her.

"Krista." She said dryly.

"I was serious when I asked to be friends. I still am. I don't know why you react so badly to what I said but I sincerely want to be friends. Can we?"

Ymir frowned at her words. The blonde, _she knows_. "Whatever do you mean by that? I never said we couldn't be friends."

"You said you didn't need friends."

Ymir opened her mouth but no words came out. They got stuck in her throat. She was lost for words.

"Please. At least give me a chance." The blonde stepped closer. "I won't make you feel alone. "

Ymir heart throbbed, painfully. How? How did she know that she was insecure? How could she always she the right words to wash away those wrong thoughts of hers? They had only met for a week or so and this girl, she seems to see through her. Or maybe she's wanted the girl to see through her, giving her little hints her and there so that she would notice her.

 _How selfish of me, but I need her. And I want her to need me._

"...Fine."

-x-x-x-

"Hey." Ymir could hear her voice almost cracking in just a short greeting. Her hands were sweating profusely and it hasn't even been a minute since they met!

"Yea." Krista was in a similar state, she could feel her hands shaking from nervousness. To hide it, she had her hands clasped together behind her back. She shot her best smile to Ymir.

It had been a month since they've met – they had hung out in school ever since the day they became friends but they were never alone - and today was the day the blonde would finally return the favour for the brunette helping her with the moving in.

Being a public holiday and therefore an off-day, she had asked the tan brunette out. They had planned to meet at 12 noon at this very fountain Sasha had met up for the first date with Mikasa. Ymir had gotten here 30 minutes too early and ended up waiting with her nerve-racking. She had thrown on her favourite violet dress shirt with a black vest and she wore her usual black jeans with her newly bought purple Adidas mid top sneakers.

It was strange as to why they were even meeting elsewhere in the first place when they stayed in same apartment but Ymir didn't care. It wasn't even the most important part of everything or anything.

Damn hell is she nervous about this. You could say it was a legit date!

Hearing her heart-thumping so hard against her rib-cage, she felt a panic attack rising. No kidding. She wasn't one to speak of panic attacks so lightly since she had gotten those lots in the past, but this situation could likely for trigger one too. For she was on a _date_ with her love-at-first-sight crush.

Ymir swallowed hard, her hands in a loose fist in her pockets. Then she sharply took a breath in. "So," she made full eye contact with those beautiful gems which were the blonde's eyes. The blonde came in a white one piece with beige cardigan covering her shoulders from the cold breeze that blew by today. "We are we going today?"

"Oh!" Krista had snapped out of her trance she didn't knew she had went into. "Why don't let's have lunch first? If you haven't had one."

"Yea! Sure! I haven't. Totally."

With that, Ymir had followed Krista's lead to wherever they were to have lunch.

Much to her surprise, the destination they had arrived at was none other than, Titan's Family Restaurant.

 _Oh. Wow. This restaurant seems pretty popular with the young people. Not that I'm old._ She rolled eyes at her own mental comment.

Upon entering the restaurant, they searched for a two-seater and quickly settled themselves in. Without much trouble with choosing their food, they had called for the waiter and ordered their food within 5 minutes.

Krista had ordered a set lunch that consists of a plate of meat sauce spaghetti with a soup of the day and a cup of ice lemon tea. Ymir had to make a mental note of this.

 _So she likes Italian food._

Ymir on the other hand, had ordered western food; Fish and chips with lots of tartar sauce – and of course with her favourite Iced Milo as a beverage.

It wasn't a long wait until the food arrived and they started digging in.

"So," Krista started after taking a sip of her cup of Iced Lemon Tea. Both of them were done with their meal and all was left was to relax for a while in their seats after a very filling lunch. "To be honest, I've not really planned on how I could return the favour." She leaned back in her seat then scratched her cheek with a nervous smile. "Maybe… you could suggest some places you want to go to?"

Ymir was greatly astounded by her revelation. With her eyes wide, she stared at Krista for a few seconds. Then she smiled. "So the real date starts here?" her smile turned into a huge playful grin.

"A date?"

"Yea. A date. With me. You don't wanna?" her grin melted into a fake pout as she crossed her arms across her chest. She turned her head away and closed her eyes in fake anger. It a second later, she opened one eye and she peeked at the blonde. The blonde was frozen in place.

"I do!" snapping out of her shock, she frantically waved her hands in front of her. "I do!" she repeated.

Then Ymir burst out in a huge laughter causing the blonde to frown.

"Sorry, sorry." She held her stomach as she tried to control her laughter. "It… was… just… hahahaha."

"Just?" Now it was the blonde's turn to pout.

"Somehow, I felt like teasing you. That's all." The grin returned to her face when she had stopped her laughter. "You're adorable, you know?"

It took her moments to realise her words and she immediately tensed up.

 _Wait. What the hell am I saying?!_

"Err... what I mean is-" She was about to explain then Krista's blushing face made the words caught in her throat.

 _Okay… she IS being too cute now it makes me wanna jump her right here and now. What is this damn feeling!_

Mentally kicking herself, Ymir cleared her throat.

"Let's get going, shall we? You did say I have the right to choose to the places we're heading to today."

"…Y-yea."

-x-x-x-

The day passed all so fast after lunch and before they knew it, it was night time. Ymir hadn't had this much fun since she didn't know when. Being with the blonde had really been all so comfortable and relaxing. She felt like she could be herself with her and on more than one occasion, she also felt like she wasn't being herself in a good sense. She never felt so free.

"Thanks for today."

Having sent her to the doors of her apartment and saying her thanks, Ymir was ready to leave for her own. She had turned and was about to take the first step towards the stairs then she felt someone tugging at edge of her shirt.

Turning back she looked, to find the blonde leaning up close to her face. And it made her stumble backwards.

"Sorry."

Gently, she pushed the blonde away from her and slipped away to her room in a rush.

Slamming the door behind her hard, she slid down it. With her back resting against the door, she curled up into a ball, burying her face into her arms.

"What am I so afraid of?"

 _Of rejection._

A voice echoed in the back of her head.

 _Even if you know your feelings are mutual and you're glad, yet you're insecure._

 _Thinking, what if._

 _-x-x-x-x-_

Meanwhile, Krista was in her own apartment, thinking of what just happened.

"She… pushed me away, didn't she?"

Sitting on her bed, she had hugged her pillow close to her chest. She sighed.

 _Was I mistaken that she had the same feelings I have for her?_

 _No. That clearly wasn't the case. That expression, I know it._

"I need to assure her everything is fine."

 _I don't know what the real reason behind all her insecurities is, but my feelings for her are real._

-x-x-x-x-

The next day, Ymir and Krista decided to confront one another on their feelings.

Choosing to meet after school ended, the two stood found an empty lecture room that was still unlocked.

"I love you." Being as straightforward as she could, the blonde confessed her feelings. "Will you go out with me?"

Upon hearing her confession, Ymir felt partly relieved.

 _She does, really have feelings for me._

Looking straight into those blue gems, she couldn't see anything but her own reflection. That unwavering gaze the blonde was giving her made her want to trust her.

"I can't guarantee that you anything. I'm full of secrets and insecurity. And you know It." instead of answering her confession, Ymir began to blabber on and on. "I don't even know if you are willing to be with me when you finally know the truth. I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm sorry." Averting her gaze to the side, she brushed her hair with one of her hands. "But, I want to trust you."

"You can." Krista merely said after a minute. "You can trust me." She took a step forward then paused. "I don't know how far you will allow me into you at this moment and how much you can trust me at this point. However, I really do love you. I've never felt this way before. I never want to lose you." She took another step forward and when she saw the Ymir hadn't stepped back, she stepped forward again and again until she was finally only an inch away from her. "Like you, I have secrets of my own." She admitted. "I will wait as long as you want. Until you can accept me." Hovering her hand over the freckled brunette's cheek, she made sure not to touch her.

Ymir could see the sincerity in her eyes. "Thank you." She managed to croak out. "Thank you."

With a grin, Krista stepped back a few steps and turned on her heels towards the entrance.

"Let's go." she said cheerfully. "I'm sure Sasha is searching around for you since I'm sure you didn't explain anything to her."

"Yea."

 _I'm not sure where this feelings will take us._

 _Just being around you makes me feel comfort and the warmth I've never felt before._

 _Even so, I want this bond that I have with you to stay forever._

 _And hopefully one day, when I am able to tell you my secret and you accept it, we will be lovers like we both wish to be._

-x-x-x-x-x-

 **A/N: Possible continuation. I might continue this story or at least rewrite the ending when I finally think of a better a way to end this.**

 **I know it is an abrupt end. Deal with it for now, sorry.**

x-x-x-x-x-


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